Four Acts of Love

La Fea (Lety) daydreaming about Don Fernando

                                                                           

I once wrote that without service, love is at best extreme attachment, and at worst nothing more than a word. It's easy for us to get puffed up and resent such a word as service. But it's not as bad as people tend to think. Besides, without it the person you are with will start to feel alone in the relationship. So, here (for me) loving acts and loving service are somewhat interchangeable. I'm going to discuss three different levels of loving acts or service that one should perform for his/her beloved. This description is by no means exhaustive. However, I do hope it gives you some idea of the different things we are agreeing to when we agree to love.



1. BIG big loving acts
These types of acts come very seldom in a lifetime between two people. They are the most memorable moments, and not everyone gets to have them. Included are marriage proposals, marriage itself, first dates, very special vacations, the birth of a child, and final goodbyes (before death). These are extremely important moments in their own way. If you can, perform them well.

2. Big loving acts
These acts of love can be performed more frequently, though they may still be too big to do often. You should shoot for one every couple months. They might include taking vacations together, very VERY special dates, spending birthdays and holidays together, learned activities (learning to ride horses together or learning a little salsa), or special preparations (perhaps you'll paint a picture of your lover or make him/her some type of gift with your own two hands).

3. Medium loving acts
I know, the size seems to be getting smaller, but let's not mistake that for a signal of decreasing importance. After all, it's your day to day life that makes you who you are! Medium loving acts can be done once or twice per month, and include things such as unique sexual encounters, little gifts, dates, regular social activities such as church/temple attendance, and other special favors like the cooking of a really fancy dinner. Also, people usually have really good and bad luck once or twice a month. Being there to cheer on and/or support the love of your life during those time is an important service.

4. Little loving acts
This brings the phrase it's the little things that count to its utmost level. These little acts of love can be performed a few times per week and are vital happiness and contentment on a day to day basis. These include cuddle time, back rubs, foot massages, quality time activities like movie night or keeping up with a favorite tv show together, saying "I love you," other little activities like doing crossword puzzles or little games together, your regular dose of great sex, compliments, walks, cooking dinner for your love, inquiring into the welfare of the person you love ("How was your day at work today?"), and cleaning up after that person.

To conclude, as I mentioned already, the smaller acts are easier to perform, but they're also the most frequent. With that being said, they're essential to a couple's happiness, way more so than the Big big loving acts. There may be financial limitations to the Big big acts, but the smaller ones should never be neglected. You may read this list and think that yes, you've done all of these things. But are you doing them as frequently as I have suggested? If not, pick up the pace! Your partner has given up any potential of ever being with someone else so that s/he could be with you. Someone in this world has vowed to stick with you until the end of your days! That is an amazing sacrifice, and you should spend the rest of your life making sure s/he doesn't regret it.




-Dev